we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
