my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
