It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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