don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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