Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
