I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Dick very happy bro
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
