I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
