i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
