3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
