i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
