Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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