Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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