She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
