I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
