I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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