i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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