Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
