I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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