Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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