Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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