We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
