I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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