Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
