hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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