Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
drinking out of a sandbucket again
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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