Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
