would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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