So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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