Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
