Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
