Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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