At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
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