so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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