New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
