White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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