I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
