you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
