four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
