That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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