Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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