She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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