they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
