I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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