i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
