What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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