Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
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