Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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