Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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