Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
