but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
