walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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