So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
