I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
