My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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