is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
as a side note pls kill me
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize