I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize