I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
