At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
My ass is underappreciated
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
