he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
