and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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